my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Randomize