You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
