two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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