Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
