last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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