THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
