Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
