either way he was missing a nipple.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
