this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
