i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
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