Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
