I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
