Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
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