1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
two words: eviction party
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
