What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You have to summon your inner elephant
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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