she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
