I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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