i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
The Olympian is in my bed
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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