ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
