On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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