If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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