WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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