I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
