totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize
