I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
