So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
