This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Randomize
