The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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