My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
