why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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