his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
