I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
