did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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