Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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