I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
