Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
