TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I need to stop coming to work sober
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
