I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
