Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Randomize
