Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Pooping to opera.
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