brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
