when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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