you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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