I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
