I'm gonna have a badass scar
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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