There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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