OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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