Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
