I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
