Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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