Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize
