pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
