There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
