And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
