So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
