it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
