last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize