fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
