No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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