Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
