Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
