I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
