i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize