so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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