Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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