you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
