i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
