i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
