This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
