And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Randomize