Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
