you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
